Matthew 10:34-36

“Do not think that I came to bring peace on the earth;  I did not come to bring peace,  but a sword.  For I came to SET A MAN AGAINST HIS FATHER, AND A DAUGHTER AGAINST HER MOTHER AND A DAUGHTER-IN-LAW AGAINST HER MOTHER-IN-LAW;   AND A MAN’S ENEMIES WILL BE THE MEMBERS OF HIS HOUSEHOLD.”

“A paradox is seemingly a contradictory statement that may nonetheless be true.”

Jesus is called prince of peace in Isaiah 9:6, but He said: “I did not come to bring peace but a sword.”   Is there a contradiction in God’s Word?   Is Jesus whom we call the prince of peace,  the one that causes trouble in a family?

To understand this paradox,  first let me explain:   When God created Lucifer; the Bible says that he was full of wisdom and perfect in beauty.  (Ezekiel 28:12) Then when he was cast out from Heaven, the Bible did not say that his appearance changed and became like a goat with horns and a tail, holding a pitchfork. This picture was man’s illusion.   Lucifer who became Satan has not changed his appearance nor did God take out from him the wisdom that the Creator had given him.   Also, when God created the host of angels, He did not just speak out the Word, God created them individually.   That is why in Job 1:6 /2:1and 38:7, they were called sons of God. Adam was created by God individually that is why he is also called in Luke 3:38 the Son of God.   Adam’s descendants are called sons of their fathers because they are only the progenies of their parents.   The ones God created individually are intelligent beings.   When God cast out those fallen angels, they still were intelligent beyond measure like Lucifer.  Christians have underestimated Satan and his demons. They don’t realize that the devil and his demons are capable of manipulating, influencing or managing shrewdly or deviously to create havoc in man’s life especially in a family.  A born again Christian cannot be demon possessed but the devil and his demons can oppress a Christian.

Let us talk about a Christian home.   Why is it that some Christian homes are still in chaos and in disarray? The devil and his demons are clever and shrewd.  They are intelligent.   They know which Christians have pure motives in serving the Lord and they also know which ones have wrong motives.   The Word of God said in Philippians 1:15 / 17,   “There are some to be sure, are preaching Christ even from envy and strife, but some also from good will.  Some proclaim Christ out of selfish ambition rather than pure motives.”   The devil knows all these.   He will not bother anyone who is not a threat to his kingdom.  The one he will destroy are those who are a threat to him.   In what way will the devil tear down a family?  For instance, a pastor who desires to serve the Lord faithfully may have a wife who is not totally committed to Christ,  she will certainly be used by the devil to hinder him in serving the Lord. Demons will cause havoc in the family.   They will magnify the husband’s flaws or weaknesses in the wife’s mind and make it a big deal.   Then out of it, intense hatred will develop in her heart and vice versa.   Any member of a family who is not fully committed to Jesus can be used by the devil.

Once a person becomes a Christian,  Satan and his host of demons will not waste time in creating disorder or chaos in the family.   Why is it that Satan will immediately seek to destroy the Christian family?   It is because the most effective way to be a witness for Christ is to demonstrate an orderly home.

There are those who promote   “health and wealth”  doctrine and say that to demonstrate to the world that we are true believers in Christ is to show the world that we have material wealth and perfect in health.   “You are an embarrassment to Christianity if you are poor and sickly,”  they say.   Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! Those false teachers are making Christians a nation of suckers.   Even if a Christian is living in poverty with ill health yet his home is in order, the world will see the vast difference.   It will create a thirst in an unsaved people’s hearts and most likely, they will ask our secret.   That will be the time to tell them about God’s Word.   But no! Most Christian homes are in chaos because most church leaders have wrong motives in propagating God’s Word.   For pastors,  especially high-ranking leaders in a denomination, their concept in discipleship is to teach church people how to witness and to make converts and bring people to church.   To them that is enough and that is where discipleship ends.

There is nothing wrong in witnessing to bring people to church.  What is wrong is their motive.  These leaders just want the church to grow in number and then teaching about how to keep a Christian home or family in order is often neglected.   Pastors do not have the courage to share biblical teachings about the family because they are afraid that the women who are wives in the church will be intimidated and that they will be branded as male chauvinists.   Most pastors are hen-pecked husbands.   What is a hen-pecked husband?   Dominated or persistently harassed by a wife with consistent nagging.   King Ahab of Israel was a hen-peck husband. God rebuked him and his dominant wife Jezebel in the book of Revelation. Although it implies to the religious system but it also applies to a literal family.

One of the qualifications of pastors and deacons is that,  “he must be one who manages his own household, with well keeping of his children and with all dignity. But if a man does not know how to manage his own household, how is he able to take care of the church of God?”   (1Timothy 3:4-5)  Why is this qualification so important?   It is important because a church leader’s duty to teach about family order is a must.

Pastors only preach about family in the pulpit when there are special occasions like mother’s day or father’s day and during wedding ceremony and sometimes they will make jokes about husband and wife relationship to avoid teaching God’s Word bluntly.   Preaching about order in the family is to be taught in the pulpit and on a one-on-one basis.   First and foremost,  teach them to follow Christ.   The focus is Christ with the biblical and practical applications in life.   These are to be taught.  In discipleship, teaching about order in a family is very important and not to be neglected.

Neglecting to teach about family is the reason why what had happened to Israel, also happened and is continuing to happen in the church.   History repeats itself. (Isaiah 3:12) “O my people!  Their oppressors are children,  and women rule over them. O my people!  Those who guide you lead you astray and confuse the direction of your paths.”

Teaching about husband and wife relationship in the church is a must and not to be taken lightly because it will be reflected on the children’s attitudes towards their parents.   You will notice that in the Word of God,  more verses have been given in admonishing women than men.   God knows everything. He was the one who created both men and women.   In Timothy 2:9-15, there is only one verse for men but there are seven verses for women: “Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly,  not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments;  but rather by means of good works,  as befits women making a claim to godliness.   Let a woman quietly receive instruction with entire submissiveness.   But I do not allow a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man,  but to remain quiet.   For it was Adam who was first created,  and then Eve.  And it was not Adam who was deceived,  but the woman being quite deceived,  fell into transgression….”

Why is it that God’s Word still mentions the woman as the one being deceived and fell into transgression? Because part of the curse from God is innate or built-in in every woman’s heart.   What was that curse? Let us go back to Genesis 3:16.   To the woman God said,  “I will greatly multiply your pain in childbirth, in pain you shall bring forth children;  yet your desire shall be for your husband,  and he shall rule over you.”

Desire to what?   This is not women’s desire for sex because we know that by nature,  men are more aggressive sexually than women.   But this curse is the desire to dominate,  to manipulate,  and to hen peck a husband.   That desire is built-in in every woman’s heart.   That is why there is sternness in God’s Word in admonishing women.


To be a nagger to her husband is inherent in a wife’s innermost being that is why in the Bible God for three times repeatedly says:

Proverb 21:9,   “Better to live on a corner of the roof than to share a house with a quarrelsome wife.”

Proverbs 19:13,   “…a quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping.”

Proverbs 25:24,   “Better to live in a corner of a roof than to share a house with a quarrelsome wife.”   Did God give these kinds of admonitions to husbands?  No!  Is God a bias God to men?  No!  Did the Bible say, “And vice versa?”  No! Why then did God repeat this rebuke three times to wives in the Bible? So that it will sink in the heart of a Christian woman and to realize that this is not a joke.   This built-in attitude is a curse from the Garden of Eden when Eve first disobeyed God.

Wives will rationalize and say,  Ah God is a chauvinist.   That is legalism.   They will reason out and say, “It is easy to submit if the husband is a Christian and a loving one.   Let us read  1st Peter 3:1-6,   “In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. And let not your adornment be merely external-braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. For in this way in former times the holy women also who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands. Thus Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear.”  Verse 7, “You husbands likewise, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with a  weaker vessel, since she is a woman; and grant her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.”   Six verses are for the admonition of women but only one verse for men.

1 Corinthians 11:3, “Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.” THERE SHOULD BE ORDER, and if a wife will assume to be the head, in God’s sight it is a two headed monster!

(Genesis 3:16)  “And he shall rule over you.”   Over ruling a wife is also a curse and it should not be that way.   That is why to teach the husband to love the wife,  to sacrifice for her as Christ loves the church, and making sacrifice for the church is to be taught to a Christian husband.

All these teachings about family relationships, husband to love his wife,  wife to submit and respect her husband, and children to obey and honor their parents is to be taught by leaders of the church constantly. Some will say despite how hard you teach Christians, if they are not teachable,  there is no use.   It is also true that only the Holy Spirit can change a man or a woman’s heart.   But that is not the problem. The problem is that no one is courageous enough to teach this subject because most pastors are afraid of their wives and the women in the church.   It is the Holy Spirit who will convict the heart of the people only if the teaching of the Bible is taught.   If there is no proper teaching from the Bible then no one can be changed.   There is no magic in Christianity.   No teaching,  no changes.

While women in the Moslem and Hindu were treated like animals and wives as their husband’s personal possession, women in America and the rest of the free world country gained power to dominate,  control and oppress their husbands.  From women’s suffrage to the feminist movement their arrogant spirits in the guise of equality have become a hindrance for Christian women to follow and obey God’s instruction for their specific rule as a woman.

It is common news today about a husband who kills his wife.   A wife murdered her husband.   Children in their teen’s cold bloodedly murdered their own parents. While dysfunctional families are rampant rampaging like a wild fire that cannot be controlled.   This should be the time that Christian homes should shine as a light in this darkened world.

We know now that it is Satan and his demons that cause havoc in the family.  Did the leaders in churches do their duty to prevent or minimize chaos in the family?  No! As what happened to Israel, the same happened to the church.  “O my people! Children are their oppressors and women rule over them. O my people! Those who guide you (your leaders, your pastors) lead you astray and confused the direction of your path.”

Continue to read the topic: “Go and make disciples”

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